Saturday, November 27, 2010

Simpson here - and aren't you lucky!

Well, Darwin is outside, sitting in the sunshine, hoping that the heat will warm the blood going to his brain sufficiently that he can think. So I'll take the opportunity to write a few words about myself (what better topic could a writer have?) and provide some balance in this blog.

I'm small, I'm lean and mean, and I'm not going to take it any more! Whatever that means, but it sure sounds ferocious, doesn't it? I've got a good set of teeth, and showing them seems to impress everybody but Dad, who just laughs at me.

But that brings up an interesting question - what do dogs call their human companions? Certainly not Master, or Owner, since we dogs are the ones the really set the rules and run things. Dad and Mom sound so hackneyed and trite, and all too....well, human. I could say "My Person", but then you wouldn't know which one I meant - even though I only have one Person, the other one thinks she's my Person, too, and it wouldn't be in my best interest to disbase her of that impression. Most of us, when we're out running in the neighborhood and meet another canine (which doesn't happen very often, unfortunately) refer to our humans by particularly insulting names, based on striking characteristics, like smell, or behaviours we've observed that the humans don't realize that we notice, let alone remember. Our humans would be horrified if they understood what we call them, but we just think it funny. Which is why, when two of us meet, usually tethered at the end of leashes, the humans often say "Oh, look, they're smiling!" No, we aren't, we're laughing at you.

Oh, great. They've let Darwin back in the house. I'd best go torment him a bit, to remind him that I'm young, and he isn't. Oh - I'll try to add a picture of my magnificent self for you to admire.

See ya!


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